That's Just The Way It Is
by Darqx
Summary: The war between the humans and humans (?) has officially started! Is Zim really behind this? Or is Dib jumping to conclusions? Once again the two get caught up right in the middle of things. CHAPTER 3 UP! - Conscription and black Cadillacs
1. Prologue

Look! It's me again! Don't you just get sick of meee? *grins* Normally I wait until one of my fanfics are near the bottom of the first page before I update or post a new one, but this time I just couldn't be stuffed =P 

Anymoose, I'm trying out another chapter story. Surprise surprise! I suck at these. It was originally just supposed to be one major long one-shot, but I thought I'd give you guys stuff to look forward too. So now it's probably gonna be a short chapter thing. Hah. 

So exactly what is this story about? You'll see soon, though I can tell you it's about a war. Wait! Don't go away! It _IS_ quite different from other war fics, that I can assure you. I mean it. You guys know meee…I write weird stuff. So um, please stay? 0.o; 

_Disclaimer_: Zim, Dib and everyone else that appear in the cartoon are © Jhonen Vasquez. The storyline is mine. =) 

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**~*Prologue*~**

**- Extract from Dib's Journal**

_02/05/2004__  
Sunday, __23:00_

Dear Journal 

Only day one of the war and already the enemy has invaded quite far into our territory. It's a nightmare. We gunned a couple of them down as they came in. Blood and guts were everywhere. 

And it's still only the _first day_. 

I still can't believe this is happening. I mean, I knew this would probably happen someday, but not like this! But then again I was pretty stupid not to have seen this coming. We are our own worst enemy after all. 

Ms. Bitters was right. We are all doomed. 

The gun still feels –excuse the pun- _alien_ in my hands. Even though we've had rigorous training for this moment it still feels harsh. Someone once showed us the horrors of war back when I was in Year five, but it was never as bad as this. 

Never as bad. 

I haven't fired a shot yet, I'm not really sure whether I can…but I'm going to have to some time. That is if I want to stay alive. No one else is going to show me mercy. 

I find it kind of ironic. Looking around in the trench I see all those classmates that used to give me such a fucking hard time, united as one against a common enemy. Sort of anyway. I don't know whether I can count on any of them to cover my back in battle though. 

And then there's the matter of Zim. 

I don't trust him at all. I wouldn't be surprised if he shot me right now and then claimed it was an accident. No one would care, everyone is too fucking stupid sometimes to notice the truth. I'll bet he's thinking about it right now. 

…And yet, I hate to admit it, but I feel a little bit better with Zim around. More safer, if that's what I can call it. It's a stupid choice of words. Perhaps it's because he's already had full military training – he is an _alien invader_ after all, he can handle this. Or maybe I just want to keep an eye on him. I don't know. War makes people act strangely. 

Though it is pretty damn weird that I should be fighting alongside my mortal enemy. I feel like laughing at this cruel hand that fate played us. 

I hope Gaz and dad are alright. I hope with all my heart they aren't dead already. Shit, I hope with all my heart that _I_ don't die. I don't want to die. Not here not now. 

I'll take the time here to wish myself good luck. Wish my side good luck. Heck, I'll even wish _Zim_ good luck! Don't die. We can't. I don't want to die. I didn't even want to be part of this stupid war! 

…God. I remember how it started. How the fuck did I manage to get myself in this fucking mess?! 

**_Dib_**

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I _told_ you it was different! =D 

More will be revealed in the upcoming chapters (as soon as I actually write them)! Plus I'll go to the beginning so you can see how all this started. The time line kind of jumps around a bit, but this is very limited so it should still make sense. 

Oh, and I'm still working on A Past Alien Friend. Except now I'll be jumping between this fic and it, as well as whatever else I feel like putting up.

Anyway! Please Read/Review and tell me what you think! 

I've always enjoyed torturing people… 


	2. How it all began

Hi! Chapter one is here! ::party horns blow in the background as confetti falls from above:: 

A.E.D: Isn't that something. How long did it take you? Two days?  
Zim: I think it was about three, death-beast.  
Dib: You're both wrong. I'm pretty sure it was four. 

Heheh. 0.o; 

Pay no attention to them. ::pushes A.E.D, Zim and Dib into a padded room and locks the door:: Anyway! I would like to dedicate this chapter to my three reviewers: Pirate Monkey, Rinny Z and Maran Zelde! You guys rock the socks of many a moose! =D 

I would also like to say that this story will probably be a variety of genres (not that anyone cares), and that this chapter is kinda ironic and funny like. Meh. I dunno. It just turned out like that. Though I am planning on making it a bit angsty in the upcoming chapters. Wh00t. I can't wait. 

Disclaimer: Read the code! Zeuq savnen ohjy bden wosim iz. 

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**Some months earlier…**

"You won't get away from me Zim! I'm going to keep hunting you down until you're on an autopsy table where renowned scientists will cut you open and…stuff!" 

"You will NEVEEER catch me you pitiful _hyoo-man_!" 

Very few heads turned as the large double doors banged open and a whirlwind of green, red and black brushed past, still yelling insults at each other. Whilst still, undeniably, very weird, the students at the resident Hi Skool had grown quite used to it. So much in fact that such antics seemed quite commonplace. 

After all, Dib and Zim had been doing insane things since, like…forever. 

At the moment, Dib was trying to get back at Zim for the 'incident' that had occurred in the mess hall earlier that day. 

"Come back here you evil, potato flinging menace!" 

"Can I help it if your hideously gargantuan head makes such an easy target?" 

"I DO NOT HAVE A BIG HEAD!" 

Dib growled as his retort was met with infuriating laughter. God, that alien was just _asking_ for it. The sallow skinned, scythe haired human narrowed his eyes and persuaded his legs to move faster. With a grin of triumph, he realized he was slowly, but surely, catching up with Zim. 

Usually, he would always be behind the alien and never catch up unless he took shortcuts, but the years had been kind to Dib. As kind as they could be in a physical sense anyhow. In the five years he had spent pursuing Zim, Dib had grown up in short spurts and was now rather tall and lanky – though he had never really grown into his huge head. Also, because of constant exercise he had developed lean muscles, like that of a swimmer or runner. The overall effect was that the fifteen year old had become quite handsome, although none of the female students would even think of coming within a ten foot radius of him, if it could be helped. 

He was still, in their eyes, a nutcase. 

Not that Dib minded. He had learned to live with it after putting up with such thoughts for so long. Sure it still bugged him a bit; especially at this time when hormones were raging high and self image was very important it was very hard for someone to almost always be alone and still constantly ridiculed. Yes, he was still interested in the paranormal, yes, he still aspired to be a great paranormal investigator and yes, he still voiced his opinions out to the world. What did anyone care? 

Which was where Zim came in. 

Zim was the one thing Dib talked about the most, chased after the most, insulted the most and fought with the most. Namely because Zim was an alien hell bent on conquering the world, but everyone was too blind to see that. And whilst Dib didn't have any girlfriends or friend friends or even _boyfriends_, he still had Zim. As long as Zim was out there – _still_ trying to conquer the earth (and not even disheartened despite five years of failure) – Dib would be out there as well, to stop him at every turn. 

It could be said that Zim was essentially Dib's life. Which is a very sad sad thing. 

Anyway… 

"Bwahahahahah –ACK!?" 

Zim's high pitched laughter choked off into a noise of surprise as Dib suddenly tackled the shorter being from behind. Thanks to Dib's longer legs, the human had caught up with the Irken faster than anticipated. Zim cursed as Dib fell on top of him. How could he have forgotten the stupid wormbaby had grown so much? 

"Hah! Gotcha! You're gonna pay for that last trick Zim!" 

"Get off me! You stink of vile human and you're leaking all over my superior skin! – wait…AAAGGGHHHHH!!" 

Dib looked down in surprise as Zim started screaming and thrashing beneath him vigorously. Wisps of smoke had started rising from the Irken's skin as drop after drop of Dib's sweat dripped onto him. 

Apparently _someone_ hadn't bathed in enough paste today. Or not at all for that matter. 

What an idiot. 

Dib smirked. This was turning out better than expected. _Much_ better. Before he had just planned on giving Zim a severe taunting and/or a little bashing before shoving him face first into a nearby dirt patch, but if he didn't have any protection against the 'deadly' liquid… 

"What's the matter Zim? Can't take a little bit of human sweat?" Dib asked sweetly. He chuckled as he dodged the black gloved hand that had attempted to take a swipe at him. He already had a new, more painful plan formed to get back at Zim for that potato incident. Now it was just a matter of completing it before the alien managed to throw him off. 

With a feral grin the human quickly spat wetly into both hands before holding them on either side of Zim's head. 

This was _so_ going to freak the alien out. 

"Hey Zim, how about a bit of human _spit_ to go with the sweat?" 

Zim froze, before shrieking, "You wouldn't DARE!" 

"Try me." 

With that, Dib brought his hands down and slathered Zim's cheeks in sticky saliva. The effect was instantaneous. 

"AGGGH! Disgusting, filthy! - AIIII _IT BURNS!!_ The paaain -" 

Dib was laughing so much he didn't notice Zim's flailing fist until it was too late. 

_THWACK!_

"Ow." Dib rubbed his sore cheek as he stood up. That was uncalled for, though maybe he should have seen it coming. Zim had already gotten up off the pavement and was scrubbing his cheeks furiously whilst glaring at him, the effect somewhat dampened by the fact that they didn't really see eye to eye anymore. There were no more wisps of steam coming from the Irken's skin, but because of the saliva Zim's green cheeks had burned, giving him the look of a very uncharacteristic, emerald blush. 

Dib snickered. 

"You – _HORRIBLE_ – vile – _DISGUSTING_ – stinkbeast! You will pay, oh how you will pay!" 

"You may have contracted germs." Dib said calmly, thoroughly enjoying himself. 

"And when – huh?…ARRGGGGGHHH!" Zim screeched. His phobia of germs, while not as strong as it had been, was still enough to make him panic. 

Dib doubled over laughing at the alien's expense, his eyes squeezed shut in mirth. Once again, if he had been paying attention he probably would have noticed the dirt clod aimed directly at him. 

But no. Of course he didn't. 

The human spluttered as soil and grass suddenly smacked him in the head and fell everywhere. That was already _twice_ he had been hit in the head by some undesirable substance that day. _Twice_. By the time he had spat all of the dirt out and wiped the dust from his glasses Zim was already five blocks away and laughing like a hyena. 

"I'll get you Zim!" Dib yelled, shaking a fist at the retreating figure, "You mark my words, I'll get you for that! I know where you live! And one day, when you're feeling all safe in your base you'll look, and I'll be over there, doing stuff! And then – oh what the hell you can't hear me anymore can you?" 

Dib cursed. Damn that Zim! He turned on his heel and with a flick of his trenchcoat headed off home, grumbling. 

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The door banged open as Dib strode into his house, still grumbling to himself and muttering schemes of how to get rid of Zim. Gaz was already at home, judging by the blaring sounds coming from the TV. Dib stalked into the living room. 

"You have a worm in your stupid hair." The Goth said in a monotone voice. 

Dib reached up and, sure enough, pulled out a disoriented worm from his scythe. With a shudder he tossed it out the window. How the heck did his sister manage to _do_ that? She hadn't even looked up from her Gameslave VI… 

He dumped himself down on the battered couch next to Gaz, who growled and moved away slightly. Dib sighed. No matter how much Gaz had grown, she was pretty much the same. Still into TV, pizzas, the latest version of her beloved GameSlave and - depending on whether he annoyed her – beating him up. Also, now that she had gained some curves guys had started becoming interested in her, although none really dared approach her for fear of getting castrated with a blunt wooden spork. She _could_ do that, if she felt in the mood. 

Dib stared at the TV. 

News. 

_Boring_. And knowing Gaz she wouldn't let him change the channel, even though she wasn't even watching it. 

"…Can you believe what Zim did today Gaz?" Dib started, unable to keep his mouth shut for long. 

"Yes. Now shut up Dib." 

" – I mean, he started a food fight in the mess hall, hit me in the head with mashed potatoes and then somehow got one of his contacts knocked out! And when I pointed it out to everyone else he came up with this lame excuse that it was pink eye, and everyone believed him! And then, and then after school he threw dirt at me, the little alien scumbag!" 

"Your voice is irritating." Gaz muttered warningly, but Dib had already gone into his trademark rant mode. 

"So I was thinking, in order to defeat my enemy I must -" 

"I am on the last level of this game. If you in any way stop me from completing my game, I will hurt you." 

"But Gaz! This is serious! This is for the fate of mankind! This is so -" 

The violet haired girl scowled and held up her trusty blunt, wooden spork. 

Dib shut up. 

Neither of them spoke, Dib's eyes once again back on the TV and Gaz still staring at her GameSlave screen. 

Dib stared blankly at the news, not really processing any of the stories. Gradually, his mind wandered back to his favourite most hated subject. 

Zim. 

Zim, like Gaz, hadn't changed much in the five years he had been on Earth. He was still rather short, only just coming up to Dib's shoulder, and even then that was only after he had grown a little bit thanks to the energy and sugar found in the junk food he sometimes ate. His uniform was practically the same – red striped long sleeve shirt and black pants – except because of his growth spurt he had had to get a size bigger, which was still a little too big for his skinny frame and so were rather baggy. 

And yes, the Irken's attitude was still pretty much the same. And while he still hadn't managed to take over earth, Zim's plans had gotten a lot smarter and devious, so much so that Dib sometimes had a hard time stopping them. 

'Maybe it's only just a matter of time before that 'armada' spaceboy keeps talking about actually shows up and wages war with us…' Dib thought, shivering slightly. 

_"WAR!"_ The TV blared out as if on cue. 

Dib jumped. "What?!" The newsreader on the screen now had his full attention. Could it be? Had Zim's people arrived all of a sudden? Oh god no. 

_"…After many small fights and battles with one another, our neighbours to the East have suddenly decided to declare war with us. Here are a few words from our President Man."_

"Whaaat?! Gaz! Did you here that? Since when have we been fighting with the East?!" 

"Since last year for a few months now." 

Dib spluttered, "But wha – _how_?! How come that wasn't on TV?" 

"Ugh…we've been fighting with them because the president from that place accused our president of stealing his favourite moose, which is really just another stupid ploy of getting more land. And the news coverage of the fights have been on TV, except _you_ haven't seen them because you're always busy watching Mysterious Mysteries or chasing that stupid friend of yours. Now for the last time _shut up_ before I doom you." 

The last part was said with so much force that Dib fell silent and scooted away from her. His gut clenched. This was horrible! All this time he had figured that aliens would always be the only threat to humans, but now he realized that humans being a threat to humans would be more likely. It was always something like that, something to do with greed, stupidity and envy. Fuck! How could he have not seen this happening? 

Mankind had, once again, let him down. 

Yet he couldn't believe that. No, he _wouldn't_ believe that! 

A name suddenly wormed its way into his mass of jumbled thoughts. 

Zim. 

Dib's eyes narrowed. Of course. This had to be all Zim's fault! Zim had probably started the fights and – to a later effect – the now impending war as another plan for world domination! Well, he had been hiding it very well. 

Dib jumped off the couch with a squeak. This had gone too far! He was going to stop Zim once and for all…and then maybe get him to stop this war. 

"ZIM! YOU EVIL SCUM I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" He yelled to no one in particular before turning to Gaz, wild eyed, "Gaz, I'm going to Zim's place. If I'm not home in time remember to do what I told you last time." 

Without waiting for an answer Dib ran out the door, slamming it shut behind him. There was a loud _CRASH_ before a tiny voice coughed "I'm fine!" and footsteps signaled he had continued moving. 

Gaz grunted uninterestedly. 

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Wow! That was the longest chapter I have ever written in my entire life! 

::The door to the padded cell crashes open and A.E.D, Zim and Dib fall out. Zim lands first, then Dib on top of him, and then A.E.D on top of them.:: 

Zim (muffled): GET OFF ME! 

A.E.D: You locked us in a room! ::glare:: 

I'm sooooooorry… 

Dib: Not good enough! That's it! No more ideas for you! 

But! 

Zim (still muffled): _Hello!?_ GET OFF! 

::Sigh:: Please R/R guys. Let's hope that my head thingies don't strike out on me for too long…I'm sorry guys! I didn't mean to lock you in there! I thought it was a candy room! ::Goes over to help Zim get out from underneath the other two:: 

Grr. FF.net is screwing up the formatting. I've had to replace all my asterix's with something else cause they wont showing up. =( 

(from disclaimer): Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez 


	3. Conscription and black Cadillacs

Hey everyone! Sorry I'm so late with this chapter! I was a bit busy with my DeviantArt account until I remembered I had a story to write. ::sheepish grin::

I blame my head things. YOU GUYS AREN'T DOING YOUR JOB GOOD!

* * *

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

That was the second thing Dib noticed as he slowed down to catch his breath. Of course, he _probably_ would have noticed it sooner except his mind had been occupied with interesting thoughts of him torturing Zim.

Zim. It was amazing how many times a day he thought about the alien.

Dib narrowed his eyes yet again as his thoughts skipped back to the impending war. Yes, this war was all Zim's fault. A _war_!! He still couldn't believe it. A _war_. What had possessed that idiot to start a war?! _How_ had he started a war?! A "stolen moose"? God, that was unbelievable!

He slowed down some more until he was somewhere between a speed walk and a jog – there was no point wasting his energy just getting to Zim's house when he was going to confront him – and glanced around.

This was just too strange…

There were no children running outside and no people watering their lawns or walking around yelling at hobos. The streets were empty. There weren't even any of the Hi Skool dropouts who tried to sell crack to passersby hanging out outside their usual spot at the pharmacy.

And the shops were already closed and dark. _At __three pm__?_ Whoever heard of shops closing at _three pm__?!_ And wasn't 7/11 supposed to be open all day every day? What the fuck was going on?

Dib turned his head as he jogged past a couple of houses, a look of suspicious confusion etched on his face.

And since _when_ did everyone own an old fashioned black Cadillac?

And most importantly…why was one following him?

Dib had caught a flash of black behind him in a window reflection as he had rounded a corner. Picking up the pace, he shot a cautious look over his shoulder.

Yep, a Cadillac, identical to all the ones he had seen, was following him.

Dib was full on sprinting now. Why the fuck was that creepy car trailing him? The driver of the Cadillac seemed to realize that its quarry had suddenly found out he was being followed and accelerated to try and pull up alongside Dib.

Shit!

This was so not good. Old fashioned black Cadillacs didn't normally try and pull up alongside people they had been tailing unless they had something bad intended. Hell, they didn't normally follow anyone in the first place!

Dib suddenly had an idea. Without warning, the teenager fell to his left and into someone's front yard before dodging around to the back and clambering over the picketed wooden fence. He knew where he was going now. This was his usual shortcut to Zim's house. It was a good thing that in his haste he hadn't accidentally run past it, but the most important thing was that he had gotten rid of the Cadillac.

Go him.

A few more silent backyards and wooden fences later and Dib found himself at the Cul-de-sac where Zim lived. He glanced around cautiously for the Cadillac before running up to Zim's freakish house. He was going to get his answers.

And he was going to get them NOW.

Luckily for him it seemed that Zim's stupid robot dog thing had left a window open…again. For an alien base it was quite easily broken into, unless the gnomes where activated on extra alert.

Which they weren't, thankfully.

With a determined look Dib ran up to the window and leapt in, doing a fancy roll before hitting the orange tiled floor and standing up. Now! Now was the moment of truth! Now was the –

"HIIIII BIG HEADED BOOOOY!!!!"

Dib was snapped out of his reverie as Zim's robot – what was its name? Gir? That was it – screamed at him from the couch. The human realized he had his finger pointed in the air in a bad imitation of his father and lowered his arm in embarrassment.

"Ummm…hey. Where's Zim?" Dib asked. Gir stared at him blankly before suddenly laughing hysterically.

Well, that was helpful. _Not._

"Gir!" A portion of the floor opened up as a disguised Zim ascended from the deeper bowels of his base, a rather pissed off expression on his face. Dib noted smugly that Zim's cheeks were still a slightly darker green than the rest of his skin colour.

"Your psychotic laughter has- _hhhwwwhaaaat?!_ The Dib-human!? What is he doing here?! GIR! Defensive mode!"

Gir diligently leapt up from the couch, before once again cackling insanely. The two of them watched as the dysfunctional robot skipped over to the open window and jumped out.

Dib raised an eyebrow and turned back to Zim, who had his head in his hands.

"_Why_ does he always _do that_?" Zim muttered exasperatedly, "Anyway…" He lowered his hands and curled them into tight fists as he glared at Dib.

But Dib was ready for him. Before the Irken could even open his mouth to yell at him, Dib had started yelling first.

"You've gone too far now Zim!"

"Eh?"

"I've found out all about your latest plan for world domination! Did you really think you could get away with it?!"

"HOW DID YOU EVER FIND OUT ABOUT THE -"

"War?" Dib pointed a finger at Zim accusingly, "That's right ZIM! I know about the war!

"War?" Zim repeated, then, "War?! Has the Armada finally come to doom this worthless ball of dirt?!" He threw his arms up in the air gleefully.

"NO! The war _you _started! Rather clever of you to make it so that it looked like the leader from the East picked a fight with ours, but I saw right through it! Did you really think I was so stupid that I wouldn't realize that you were behind it?! Now you'd better stop this evil that you've started!"

The human took a deep breath and looked fiercely at Zim. To his surprise, the alien was staring at him as if he were crazy. If Zim had had eyebrows, one would surely be cocked right now.

"What are you talking about?"

Dib was momentarily taken aback. Did this mean that Zim _wasn't_ behind the war and mankind had really just started it by themselves? A feeling of disbelief swept through him.

Fucking mankind _had_ let him down.

…But wait.

What was he _thinking?_ This was _Zim_ he was talking to!

"Don't play dumb ZIM. You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Dib screamed, a sudden anger, burning hot and red, beginning to overtake him and cloud his senses. How dare Zim think he could get away with it by lying to him! _There was going to be a war!_ Millions of people were going to _die!_ In his mind he could see Zim standing there and laughing triumphantly, flames licking up in the background.

This was all Zim's fault this was all Zim's fault this was all ZIM'S FAULT!

Zim stared apprehensively at the human, whose eye had started to twitch dangerously. What had gotten into the dirt child now?

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ZIM!"

Zim let out a sharp cry as he was propelled backwards, hitting the floor with a thud with the Dib on his chest.

He was starting to get the distinct impression that Dib had a somewhat perverse enjoyment in being on top of him.

Dib grabbed the lapels of Zim's overly baggy uniform and pulled him off the floor slightly so that they were almost face to face – a rather uncomfortable position on Zim's half. The human looked down at him with an almost evil expression on his face.

"You had _better_ stop this war from happening Zim." Dib hissed, shaking the Irken slightly.

"Stupid human! I have no idea what you are talking about, and even if I did I wouldn't stop it!" Zim growled back and punched Dib in the head, the action causing Dib to yowl in pain and fall off him. No one threatened ZIM in his own base! No one!

The alien scrambled to his feet and was just about to deliver a vicious kick to Dib's side when the human unexpectedly leapt up and tackled him. They both landed awkwardly on the couch, where Zim – much to his disgust and chagrin – again found himself in the more submissive position.

Curse humans and their long legged-ness! …And their heaviness!

"Ggaaaghhh!" Zim gritted his teeth as his arm was wrenched behind his back painfully, "COMPU-!"

He didn't get time to finish his yell for assistance as Dib shoved his face into the couch, effectively muffling his cry and almost suffocating him.

A sudden screech outside brought a halt to their fighting. Zim found he could breathe again as Dib removed his hand from his head and they both looked up and out the window.

Cadillacs!

Two of them!

"Those Cadillacs again!" Dib muttered. "They must be part of your plan! Am I right Zim? Huh Zim? Am I right? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Are you crazy?! I have no need for inferior human technology to help me! Those human…things…have nothing to do with the brain sucking demon squid!"

"Brain sucking demon squid?!"

"…YOU DID NOT HEAR THAT!!"

Dib had a puzzled expression on his face. "But if those cars don't belong to you…then…why was one following me?"

"One was following you?! And you led them _right here_?! Oh you wretched human!"

"Hey, it wasn't _my_ fault and – why the hell am I even bothering to have this conversation with you?!"

_BANG!_

Their argument was again interrupted as the door was kicked open and four men in clean pressed black suits jumped in through the doorway.

"AGGGHHH!!"

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"That's not important right now." One of the men answered, ignoring the strange positions Zim and Dib were in. He pulled out an electronic notepad and scanned down it.

"Dib?" Dib nodded dumbly.

"Ah good. Your scary sister said we would find you here. And Zim?"

" Yes I AM ZIIIM!!" Zim yelled in response, glaring daggers at these new intruders.

"Oooo-kay." The man turned to the other three and nodded, "These are our missing recruits. 777, 666 you take the green one. Me and 345 will take Mr. Dib."

"Recruits?!" Dib released Zim's arm and jumped off the couch, "What's going on?!"

The one labeled 345 stared at him, "The war. You're the last recruits the government asked us to fetch."

It suddenly all clicked together.

"This is conscription! You can't do this!" Dib yelled, struggling as 345 and the first man took him by the arms and dragged him out to a waiting Cadillac. He dug his heels into the ground, trying every trick in the book to break free before finally giving up. Geez, what were these guys on? Steroids?

Behind him he could hear the sounds of a scuffle and angry yelling. It sounded like Zim wasn't having that much luck either.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!! :_crash: _AGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! :_bang: _HEY! LET GO OF ME! YOU SHALL NOT TAKE ZIIIM!! :_crunch: _AWOAAHAA MY SQUEEDILYSPOOCH!"

Dib would have laughed if the situation wasn't so dire. He craned his neck to look behind him.

666 and 777 had finally stepped out of the house holding a rather battered Zim between them. Zim was still yelling and was kicking his legs in the air, seeing as he was too short to touch the ground from his position.

The last thing Dib heard before he was forcefully pushed into a leather interiored Cadillac was 777 exclaiming jovially, "We've got a fighter in this one! He'll be good for the front lines!"

* * *

Hehe. Another apology for the lame ending. I was running out of inspiration (again, I blame the head things.)

Dib: It's not _our_ fault you write like crap!

::Gives Zim a laser and tells him to go after Dib. Dib screams and runs.::

Now, where were we? Ah yes.

The war scenes are still a long way away unfortunately, I just want to build up some momentum without jumping in the deep end straight away. =)

And they will be angsty! All wars need angstiness. You wouldn't tell with my previous chapters could you? They're all very…ironic.

Anyway! Please R/R! Cause I like reviews! I am a review whore!…and yet…not…0o;


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